it's been long

it's been long since my last post.don't know why i felt really lazy to update.i hate if this happen!i don't know what to write.

i'm now in kelantan.so much memories here.i don't have the what you called happy singing jumping like monkey feeling when you went back to hometown.no!i don't have that feeling anymore.this is the first Ramadhan without HIM.lain sgt rase dye.lain...selalunya kalau sahur DIA la yg bising2 suruh makn.suruh bace niat.kalau waktu buke pula, DIA selalu mkn cendol.DIA suke sgt cendol.ad jugak mase2 tu DIA masak nasi goreng.nasi goreng DIA paling sedap.and i will never ever taste the nasi goreng anymore.HE'S gone.i thought this year dpt lg smbut puasa n raye dgn DIA.igt nk ambik gamba saru family.tp skrg DIA dh tk de.selama-lamanya.

deep down inside i'm crying.selalu terigt kat DIA.the other day abg DIA dtg ke umah.lyn terkejut sgt2.muke abg DIA sgt2 mcm muke DIA.lyn nangis ble terigt DIA.lyn nk peluk DIA, cium DIA tp sume tu dh terlambat.i don't know if i've done any good to HIM.DIA adalah AYAH......

Things'll never be the same without you...

What did I do to deserve this
I didn't even get one last kiss, from you
Oh AYAH God took your love from me
He needed an angel so it seems
I need to feel your hands all over me
I need to feel you kissing me
I need to feel you holding me
Cause I miss your love so much
And I can't keep on living this way
I need you here with me
Why could he take you away, from me

It's hard for me to tell you I love you
As I'm standing over your grave
And I know I'll never hear your voice again
Why did you leave me
Why couldn't you just stay
Because my world is nothin', without you
Now I don't know what to do, with myself

I would've given you anything
Just to make you happy
Just to hear you say, that you love me one last time
I'd go to hell and back over and over again
Just to prove to you how much I need you here
There is nothing that I wouldn't do
I'd cry for you
I'd lie for you
And there's no doubt that if I could take your place in heaven
I would die for you, yes I will
I would rather give up my life
Than to see tears in your eyes
I can't stand to see you cry

Cause it's hard for me to tell you I love you
As I'm standing over your grave
And I know I'll never hear your voice again
Why did you leave me
Why couldn't you just stay AYAH
Because my world is nothin', without you
Now I don't know what to do, with myself

I just don't know what to do with myself
I cant stand looking at those pictures on my shelf
Knowing it was just one week ago, i stood there and took that picture
There's just one thing that I wanna know
Why would God want to hurt me so bad,
Does He know how much it hurts to be missing you
AYAH Im missing you
AYAH Im missing you
I love you

oh God damn it I love you
Why did he take you away... from me

-lyrics from 1st lady-